Wednesday, August 09, 2006
To all the guys i have loved before:
You guys are going, and it somehow feels that a bit of me is going to. I saw you through 2 years of national service or school or work, perhaps not at your side, but i was there aware of when you went in and when you left, and perhaps unbeknowest to you, i still remembered you and kept track of your progress.
You remembered my 1st 2 years in university, and my how we've changed. We look different, act different, think different. All in the name of growing up.
And now you guys are going going gone. Some to study, some to work, none staying behind, but leaving a yearning in my heart. I'm not sure what i'm yearning for exactly-- perhaps it was the chance to get to know you guys better, or maybe the chance to apologise, or to resolve matters, to tell you i loved you, to spend more time with you, to kiss you, to hug you, or just being with you.
And now, with time nearly up, i wish i could call you and say all the things my heart is brimming with-- words unsaid and yet omnipresent-- and you would never know my true feelings, but i probably wouldn't want you to know either. You mightn't had known how to reciprocate, and i might not have been mature enough to handle the emotions at hand.
And now you've grown, each in your own little way, and you're moving on to a new phase in life.
And soon it will be my turn.
All in 2 years, so much has changed.
To all the guys i have loved before, good bye and God bless.