Thursday, January 26, 2006
Don't fall in love. Don't fall in love. 2 men. Try to forget.

MN: Somehow, I dunno why i still think of you. I dunno why you mean so much to me. I dunno why i even bother about you. I don't even know why my I yearn for you and i miss you. How can i miss you when i don't even know you. But somehow, when i think of you being there, it relaxes me i guess. Either that or it distracts me so i calm down. I wonder if i will ever get the chance to know you better. I know i say a lot of stuff about you, some not very good, and i'm sorry for that. I don't know why i do that also. I wonder if i should go for your invite. I wonder if you heard all the stuff i said. i wonder if you still like me. I wonder if you ever liked me. I wonder what you think of me, what you thought of me. Did i leave an impression? If so, when?
"Who are you really, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think, huh?" (Rick from casablanca) I wish i could get to know you better. I want to get to know you better i think. I just dunno how. Is this love?

BA: Sure you've got nice eyes, good skin, a nice deep voice, and soft lips. But while there are many things that i do like about you, i find a lot of things extremely repulsive, and it scares me a bit. Like how you comment about me and money, like how you just try to force things on me, like how you are so unsympathetic, like how you ignore me in a group. Like you don't care. You probably never did anyway. I'm not asking for a love affair, but it doesn't even seem like a friendship. Like MN, i am open to a relationship, but somehow, argh, i dunno. I don't have words for this.

Heart-broken and this dreadful feeling of emptiness creeps in and leaves a dull ache. And i try to forget by sleeping.

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