It's 5.03am, and i still cant sleep. This has been going on for a few days. Dunno why but the voices in my head are like noisier. And then my thoughts just keep running and running and are very active, and i have to mumble to talk back to them, and in my head, i'm like perpetually talking back to them. It's a bit tiring, and annoying and scary and frustrating. Jehovah Jireh, you are my provider, pls provide a cure for me!

On another note, my hamster Hammymo is dead. She passed away after a good long 2.5 years. She will be missed. Strange how thin she got when she died. I bought some gardening tools--- which was a testimony to God's grace cos the taxi driver agreed to wait for me to get it and return some movies to video--- and with David's help, managed to bury her. The coordinates are the two trees on level 1. Precious little hammymo. When she 1st came, she was very quiet and shy, and then she ate a lot and grew very fat, and then she started losing a lot of weight, and when she died, she was very thin. At least she looked peaceful. Like she died in her sleep. Praise God. Abba God will take her to a better place. Heaven. I'm sure of it.

Today, i had dinner with my family at raffles hotel's seah street deli. It was nice. Met a cute chef who smiled and waved at me 3 times. He reminds me of MN, who i miss quite a bit. I guess it's the same hair and the same way they noticed me.

Elmo punk is now here with me. I've moved her upstairs to my room cos if not she'll be lonely all by herself since hammymo is gone. She is sleeping now, peacefully under a flutter of tissue papers which she pulled to wrap herself with to guard from the cold.

Go away from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not the one you want, babe
I'm not the one you need
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who's never weak but always strong
To protect you and defend you
Whether you are right or wrong
Someone to open each and every door

But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe

Go lightly from the ledge, babe
Go lightly on the ground
I'm not the one you want, babe
I'll only let you down
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who'll promise never to part
Someone to close his eyes to you
Someone to close his heart
Someone to die for you and more

But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe

You say you're lookin' for someone
To pick you up each time you fall
To gather flowers constantly
And to come each time you call
And will love you for your life
And nothin' more

But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe

I wonder if i still love you. Maybe you'll call again sometime.
- posted by gail @ 2:03 PM